Hey hey hey!
Let’s begin by studying and understanding Revelations 2 first. AMP version might hit many of us below the belt.
“To the angel (divine messenger) of the church in Ephesus write:
“These are the words of the One who holds [firmly] the seven stars [which are the angels or messengers of the seven churches] in His right hand, the One who walks among the seven golden lampstands (the seven churches):
2 ‘I know your deeds and your toil, and your patient endurance, and that you cannot tolerate those who are evil, and have tested and critically appraised those who call themselves apostles (special messengers, personally chosen representatives, of Christ), and [in fact] are not, and have found them to be liars and impostors; 3 and [I know that] you [who believe] are enduring patiently and are bearing up for My name’s sake, and that you have not grown weary [of being faithful to the truth]. 4 But I have this [charge] against you, that you have left your first love [you have lost the depth of love that you first had for Me]. 5 So remember the heights from which you have fallen, and repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, your sinful behavior—seek God’s will] and do the works you did at first [when you first knew Me]; otherwise, I will visit you and remove your lampstand (the church, its impact) from its place—unless you repent.
Revelation 2: 1-5
Focus on verse 4 and 5.
I woke one day last week and heard ‘Return to your first love’. I knew that was a word in Revelation and immediately went to search for it. I took time to meditate on it but couldn’t really understand why God woke me with that. I mean, I love Jesus with all my heart. I can’t trade salvation for anything in the world, so why was He asking me to return to my first love?
But I soon understood. As I sat behind at our The Women at The Well (TWTW) meet on 24th of June, I couldn’t hold the tears as God reminded me of the things I used to do when I just got saved. (I’ll be sharing lessons from the program on IG today, follow @mobolaaji/@twtwnigeria)
Like a movie, I saw myself on my top bunk in level 100, holding my green and orange leather bible while my roommates talked below my bed. I was so engrossed in the Word, I couldn’t even make sense of what they were saying.
I remember how I’d stay back in the room when everyone else went out to just meet with Jesus.
He reminded me of when I moved upstairs in the same hostel, how I’d wake at 4/5am because I wanted Jesus in my system before anything or anyone else. I’d sing and sing and sing, I’d have my own worship concert and cry in reference, laying it all at His feet.
I remember how I loved to tell total strangers about the love of Jesus. I did joint and individual evangelism because I couldn’t imagine how people lived without Jesus.
I remember when we moved to an apartment, I’ll always have my laptop open very early in the mornings. I’ll write and write and write with reckless abandon. I’ll pour out my whole heart to Jesus.
It hit me that Jesus missed these things, He missed when He and He alone was my satisfaction. It got to a point that I couldn’t even sing ‘I surrender’ by William McDowell because I knew in my heart that I didn’t mean the lyrics of that song- there were things I had held so dear that I wasn’t ready to surrender.
No wonder He gave me a song early last week:
My heart beats for you
My soul longs for you
Jesus, be my satisfaction
Be my reason.
Simple words, deep meaning of how I had left my first love, my husband, my God, my dear Jesus, my sweet friend Holy Spirit.
When I meditated when I got the word, He asked me ‘When last did you write to me?’
I quickly went to search my journal and when I saw the date, my heart wept! Almost 10 days and I had not written anything PERSONAL to God. How did I get here?
You see, writing is like a ritual in my relationship with God. It’s a sacrifice. It’s a form of worship. It’s worship!
And I’m not referring to what people read from me online. These are things no one has ever read but God, things I can’t even trust myself with but pour out to God like a child. So how could I go 10 days without it and survive?
This is my story, this is what it means for me to return to my first love- to do again the things that made my relationship with God special- just me and Him.
What does returning mean to you?
Have you gone 10 days, 30 days, 60 days without reminding God that He’s special to you?
It’s not late. He’s calling, He’s saying RETURN, I AM WAITING.
Don’t keep Him waiting too long.
This is less about what people see but all about God- heart to heart.
Love and light,