These are my words, the ones that follow are my friend’s.
I really don’t know where to start from, because when I think about this year, and all the things you have done for me, my family, friends and loved ones; I always am speechless. You make me speechless, because sometimes I try to look for words to describe my gratitude and appreciation, but I just don’t get the right words. So, with the gift that you have given me, I decided to write a poem (not that I am that good). Your gift is what makes a difference in me.
So, the title of my poem is;
THE IMPERFECT ME!
Every day, I keep wondering why, why you keep loving me?
Despite my faults and wrongs,
Despite the mistakes I make,
In times of my doubts and in times of dismay,
Times when I tried to run away from your presence
Times I forgot to have my quiet time,
Even times I remembered and decided not to.
There were times that I tried to do your job,
Times when I felt you were taking too long,
Times when I could even hear you clearly, telling me it’s alright
But still doubted and worried.
Yes lord, it’s still the Imperfect me.
Even as I write now, my heart is worried,
My laptop’s earpiece connection is having problem
And even in it, I can still hear you telling me that it’s alright,
Yet I worry and am afraid.
It was the same voice that spoke to me when I was about buying this laptop
When fear gripped my heart, thinking it was fake.
Even though I knew that you directed me there to get it,
Still, I was so scared and I couldn’t stop asking ‘What if?’
I remember how I felt when I saw ‘made in china’ behind it,
I remember going to church that morning and couldn’t pray,
Even though that voice kept persisting that it was alright,
I kept worrying.
Ooh lord, it’s still the Imperfect me.
Should I start lamenting how the year started?
Ooohhhh! You really tried me, God you tried me!
When I was searching for a house,
I kept jumping from one agent to another, spending all I had.
I was in the middle of my exams,
And I remember that voice telling me – ‘it’s alright.’
But no God, I felt I needed to hear something more,
I just wanted you to tell me where to go, to tell me what to do,
Alas! You were quiet.
I clearly remember that night when I was still staying at Mobolaji’s place
I woke up in the middle of the night and cried so hard,
I opened my bible randomly. Maybe, just maybe I could hear a word from you
But what did I see; this beget that…
Oooh, I was so mad! I cried so hard I could no longer breathe,
But in the midst of the storm, that voice was there,
Telling me; It’s alright!
But still I doubted, I felt like giving up,
Not knowing that my home was still under construction,
And just at the right time, you took me there,
And you provided the money to pay for two years!
Yes lord, It’s Still the Imperfect me.
What about after we moved in?
I slept on the ground for months,
There was nothing to eat,
I remember looking for a job at Glo.
OOhhh God! You tried me.
I was to go somewhere not far from my house,
But the bus took me out of Accra to the Central region.
I remember crying in the bus, I remember how pressed I was,
But I couldn’t come down to ease myself, because I had nothing left on me.
I remember when I finally got to the company, how I was told that the job was off.
I felt like screaming right there!
I went home that day in tears,
But then I heard that voice telling me, ‘You don’t need a job now’
I was mad at you. I just did not understand.
But after entering the semester, I reasoned with you,
I remember thanking you for not allowing me get the job,
’Cause there was no way I could have coped.
You provided for me, that I even had enough to give out!
Ooohhh God! It’s still the imperfect me!
Then I think about the people you brought into my life…
Hmmm! It baffles me the way you bring the right people to me at the right time.
The friends, the family… God, you are too much!
Let’s see a friend like Bolaji that made me always check myself before going out,
The one whose blog you have used to correct me in diverse times,
The one who made me think that I could be closer to you than I was,
It’s funny that it took me so long to know her
Despite the fact that we are in the same class and church
I just never noticed her
But when you thought it was time,
There was a divine connection!
And that’s something I will forever be grateful for!
What about the family you brought into my life through house fellowship?
From church members to family,
They introduced me to another family and now I can say I have parents in Ghana
I remember when I was going from one company to another
Looking for a place to do my internship,
Not knowing that you already had a plan for me,
I questioned you and got angry again,
Yet, that voice told me; ‘it’s alright’
It was through this same family that you helped me,
You made a way for me in the most awesome ways…
Ooh Lord, it’s still the imperfect me!
Should I continue? No, I will stop here…
Because, if I am to keep telling of the great things you have done in my life,
Mobolaji will probably not allow me write a praise letter again
I just wouldn’t finish narrating the whole story.
But God, one thing I want to say is THANK YOU!
For believing in me when others didn’t
For loving me when you probably shouldn’t have
For being patient with me through it all,
For your words of assurance even when I wasn’t paying attention,
For when I doubted your providence for my school fees,
For when I neglected you,
For when I forgot to say thank you,
For when I said things I wasn’t supposed to,
For times I tried to do your job.
For loving the imperfect me,
I just want to say thank you!
I probably won’t be perfect,
I am not promising to get it all right,
But one thing I can promise is that;
I will try!
To listen when you speak
To pay attention to your words
To think less and thank more
To believe in you when everything around me tells me not to
To have your peace inside of me
To surrender the wheel to you
To watch as you drive my life
To smile and enjoy the ride
To trust in you even when the storm is so fierce
To build my faith in you
To fall in love with you over and over again
I will try lord, I will try.
Again, I say…
Thank you lord!
Wow! I can’t explain what PraiseLetters do to me. It’s like an opportunity to get into the minds of others and their relationship with God.
Isn’t it beautiful that we can all share Christ?
Isn’t it beautiful how He cares for us all uniquely?
God, we’re saying thank you!
You’re so awesome and good to us. Words can’t express it really…
Thank you so much Oyindamola Victoria Ajayi-Bembe(lol) for sharing this letter. We hope to get many more from you. I’m glad God made us connect as writers and friends. It’s a pleasure knowing you. The imperfect you. Lol
But that’s the thing, God hasn’t asked us to be perfect, He nurtures us to blossom.
God bless you dear.
Thanks for reading! You can send a letter to firstname.lastname@example.org anytime!
Damola blogs at http://oyindamola1.wordpress.com/. You should check out her series.
I know I need to update posts with pictures, but exams…