My name is Mobolaji, not sexy!

Good Wednesday Morning!
I know you guys must be used to ‘Good Monday Morning’, but how about we switch Mondays and Wednesdays for our greetings?

It’s important to speak life into your day and that’s why I love saying ‘Good Morning’, because it’s a way of speaking positivity into one’s day. Just wake and determine in your heart, that no matter what, joy will not cease from you this day. Amen!

To the topic of the day.
I do hope that joy overflows in me through out the day. This is because what I’m about to talk about breaks my heart and makes me want to slap someone.

I read Frances’ post on BellaNaija on how guys need to stop saying ‘Come to my house’ to ladies and I shared some experiences with her.

As I was walking to board a bus sometime last week, I became scared. There were no lions, snakes or cats on the road. There were men.

I wasn’t scared because they would beat me, I was just afraid of getting a silly remark from any of them. You know when you’re walking and you unexpectedly see a lot of guys, you just want to change roads or look straight as if you can’t see anyone.
Well, I had to take option B. There was no other road.

It’s not that I think all men are the same, it’s just that I’ve been called ‘heyzzz, fine geh’ so many times that I’m tired.
It’s also not the case that I am so beautiful that every man notices when I pass, it’s that most ladies have experienced this. It doesn’t matter how fine one is.

Not long after, as I walked to the office, a guy called me ‘sexy’ as I walked by him. By that time, I was furious! Another still called me ‘Angel’ yesterday and I just thought; CAN SOMEONE TEACH THESE MEN!

Imagine if a bunch of ladies called out to men as they walked by. Wouldn’t the society see something bad with that?
So why is it acceptable for men to do same?

Most of my friends call me a feminist because they know I’m always ready to argue rights of women during our classes that relate to that topic. I can say I’m a healthy feminist, I don’t want to take over the world and neither do I think “girls run the world.” I think men and women run the world, so why shouldn’t women be accorded the same respect that men are given?

Oh! This makes me remember the last time I went to the market before I left school. A guy was touching and pulling me to buy something from him (this has also been accepted as normal) and I dragged my hands from his grip. Can you imagine the next thing he said to me?

“Are you a virgin? Why are you behaving as if a man doesn’t touch you every night. Rubbish. See the way she’s behaving. You don’t know that we have many beautiful girls in Nigeria. See her behaving like a virgin. Rubbish”

He didn’t know I was/am a Nigerian.

I’m sure you’re as shocked as I was. You know the type of anger where you can only smile? That was the type I had for that guy. I pitied him.

Am I an object? So why should I let you hold and drag me anyhow you wish? Trust me, it wouldn’t be the same story if it was women who dragged men and called them silly names.

Can’t we ladies just be respected enough that we’re allowed to pass the streets without fear?
Can’t we groom men to know that women are jewels and should be treated as such?

I hope to have many sons and I’m going to do my best to teach them to treat and speak to women appropriately.

Most of all I’d tell them every lady has a name; and that name isn’t ‘sexy’.

I honestly felt bad as I wrote this. I just want a world where women are praised and not put down.

Hope you’ve read this week’s ‘The Word’ about kindness? You should! We need to be kind to people now more than ever because the wickedness in the world right now is something else!

Share your experiences with us using the comment box. I’d really love to hear from you. Remember to share posts too and subscribe! This will enable you get all new posts by mail.

Do have a great day ahead!
God bless your week.

Love, Mobolaji (not sexy).


  • Iris Quaynor

    This is so true! The most infuriating and excessively annoying part is where we have been socialized to think there is somethung wrong with not wanting to accept this belittling attitude by some men towards ladies & yes_ the sorry part: where it is your fellow woman that will insult you for not accepting this “nonsense”.
    like one time, i was walking in town and this guy on a motorbike with a lady (if she is even one) leaning against him called out at me: “tsi3 yoo” (a Ga (local Ghanaian dialect)jargon for babe) and i walked on as if i had’nt heard. only to hear the lady by him start calling out after me, asking who i thought i was that i couldnt mind the guy! she was super annoyed! i was so surprised, i think i kept shaking my head till i went to bed (lol)
    At a point, this sorry situation will persist till we are all ready to re-conscientize our minds, yes_ even we women and realize that, we deserve to be treated as ladies and not playthings or lesser versions of men. We cannot change what we accept as right!
    i wait earnestly for that day.

    • Ahh Iris! You have spoken well! You have spoken well! It’s so annoying when women too encourage you to accept insultive gestures by men.
      Sigh, I will not be quiet till there’s at least little change in how women are treated seriously.
      Thanks darling!

  • damola

    lolllzzzzz… I can’t laugh. funny enough, those who do this are just some jobless regular guys who are just looking for some jobless person like them to start an argument with.

    I have lost count of the names dey call me: Miss Ghana, slim shady, lepacious, model, agbani, siiiii, lolz.

    thanks Bolaji. may God give our men understanding

  • Let me stop laughing first,
    And then mention my delight at Bolaji’s write thing efforts which I have just stumbled upon. .
    Plus my thinking. .that that the practices of ‘naming and calling’ ladies in manners described have continued to thrive partly because many ladies, if it’s not most, actually enjoy such sickly attentions. Because they are avenues through which they exploit their willing male partners, ladies don’t complain the same way the writer has.
    I must however conclude that a society that places the values on the womanhood can only be achieved through the combined efforts of both men and women who still a sense of sanity about them,..

    • Sir! I could only smile as I saw this comment. It’s a privilege that my literature teacher gets to read my blog. Thank you sir!
      Ladies I know don’t like this kind of attention o, it irritates them and doesn’t show that these men know their worth. All the same, I understand the points you made.
      Thanks for stopping by.

  • Babes, I don’t even know what to say again because you’ve said it all. I’m seriously trying to imagine if the case was reversed. Would the society take it well? It just shows the degree at which man keeps falling and it’s only Jesus that can work on them because it’s something that seems to have been troubling mankind since time began, and ALSO because some of us have permitted it and so when others are even irritated by their abasha other than pleased, then they wonder, “What’s doing this one” By God’s grace, I hope we’ll begin to raise men and women who haven’t been defined by the world as their standard but by God’s word.

    I love your correction jare. My name is Mobolaji not sexy! Let it sink in. Full stop.
    I hope you don’t mind the jara I

    • The society will not take it well at all. It’s like men have been allowed to do certain things; but women would be so disgraced if they do same.
      Jesus is really the Standard o, if all men could accept Him! They’d definitely not be giving us silly names on the streets.
      Your jara is always and always welcome! Muah!

  • Ok it went through 🙂

    Hey, Mobolaji…not sexy!
    But seriously, we still hope that some of our men will heed to our plea…
    Cat calls, house runs, bla bla bla, biko, all those should stop.
    We need classes on these things to be organized for guys..truly

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