Lessons learned: I’d rather be Grace-made because being self-made is too stressful.

Lessons learned: I’d rather be Grace-made because being self-made is too stressful.

Hey hey hey!

I’m not going to ignore the fact that I’ve not been as consistent as I should, so again, I apologize. Trust me, it’s not because I don’t want to be here.

These are my lessons for the week.

1. Be watchful, ignorance doesn’t pay: It’s no coincidence that on Wednesday, our Bible study in Church was ‘Who is a real friend?’ I learned so much from the study and though I was tired after the launch, I was grateful I went. The topic was very well thought and honestly gave me a fresh perspective tofriendship. It even got me thinking how good a friend I am…

These kind of topics make us want to point fingers to those who we feel aren’t the best of friends, but what about us?
What kind of friend are you?
Anyway, as God would have it, a lady I don’t know came for a program at school yesterday. I couldn’t make it but my sister (housemate) did. I started this part with ‘as God would have it’, because I clearly see Him at work here. She sat behind two ladies that dissected our book and then went ahead to dissect me. Lol. They didn’t know who the lady was and they didn’t know she was a good friend to my sister. When my sis finally saw her and started ‘marketing’ the book (remember I wasn’t around), the lady said she had seen the book and that two ladies behind her had made the writer look so bad. Lol. Their main point was that I wasn’t a writer because I collated different letters, so to them, it wasn’t my work. When I found out, I just laughed and remembered Wednesday study in Church. 

This lesson is called ‘Be watchful, ignorance doesn’t pay’ because sometimes, we are so loose. The sanguine side of me wants to share dreams and aspirations with everyone. My bubbly side wants to be an open book, but you never know who’s reading you through hate. Honestly, this has taught me so much!
I didn’t narrate the story because I just wanted to, but because I want you to be vigilant.

Who are you friends?
Wisdom is the principle thing here and not everyone who laughs with you really cares for you. It hurt me, but I knew God wanted me to know.
Why was the lady sitting close to them?
Why did she have to know my sis?
Why did my sis have to bring up the book?
Why did the lady have to tell my sis about the ladies?
A mentor once told me that many believers pray, but we’re not watchful. The Bible advises us to do both, don’t be ignorant.
Are your relationships parasitical? Or mutual and healthy?
And if God decides to take people away from you, you better not argue because you can’t tell what He’s saving you from.
Again, I thought… Who am I?
What have I done that people already hate?
I hope you become more watchful.


2. There’s a season and time for everything: I started something this week and I have to admit that it’s been stressful. My roommate enrolled to a French school and just feels that she’d be needing it in the future. A friend was led by God to go back to the state she did her NYSC. It makes we wonder how many times we’ve missed some seasons…(God remains good though).
Many times, we know God is leading us to do something, but because we want logical explanations, we miss them. Believers can’t live with scientific proof. We don’t see, then believe. Be believe then see ‘physically.’ So, in essence, we actually see before we see. Lol. Meet me for further explanation.


3. Delegate what others can do better: The Ghana book launch on Wednesday was such a success that I still marvel at God’s goodness. Obviously, most attendees were students and the question and answer session was the most interesting. Lol. We asked questions like: ‘Should grown female daughters dress in the presence of their Dads? Is there a spiritual side to it? A friend says she can’t allow her husband bath their daughters or live him alone with them, what do you think about their family?’
I was laughing almost all through and loved when I got to sign the books. Lol! We didn’t allocate time for that in the Lagos launch, so it was fun to do it for my classmates. I wrote funny stuff in the books and made sure I wrote ‘Jesus loves you’ for two friends who don’t believe in God. Lol. I’m silly like that. I want them to remember it when they finally get born again. Anyway, to the real lesson…
My sis is the event planner of life! I’m telling you, this calabar girl doesn’t need PhD to excel in planning and executing programs so I wan glad she was in charge. I admitted that the Ghana launch was even more coordinated that the Nigerian one. I was the main organizer for that one and trust me, I’m not the best organizer in town…
I knew she was much better and kuku delegated the work to her.
Many of us struggle because we’re fighting a lost battle. We allow envy and strive fill our hearts because we want to do things exactly how others are doing them, if only we become grateful and focus more on what we can do well, the world (and programs) would be a better place. Lol.


4. Let God help you pick your friends: Even though number one was a hard lesson to learn, I can’t ignore the fact that I have awesome friends! Not only did many support, but I could see that they were genuinely happy for and with me. I loved when we took pictures at the end of the launch. It was like a bonding time and I’m sure many of us will remember it for a while. Your life is just easier with good friends in it, even if they may be few. Ask God to help you pick your friends.


5. How I see myself is very different from how people see me: Someone on twitter mentioned me and praised me on being a goal-getter. Lol. Many have said I inspire them and that many young ladies should be like me. Lol. I smile when I hear or see these things because most times, I see myself differently.
I don’t even want to get too deep into this lesson. Let’s just say I’m still a work in progress and believing that as I continually walk with God, I’d one day get to the point where I see myself the way He sees me.


6. I’d rather be Grace-made because being self-made is too stressful: Again, this lesson is one I can’t write much on today. I’d probably do a whole post on it. I started reading a book last week that talked so much on human effort, hard work and being self-made. It’s not that these are all bad in themselves, but that they don’t pay. I started getting myself confused, hut trust God to have answers ready. That same week, a guest minister was invited to our Church and guess the title of all his mesages- THE GRACE-MADE GENERATION.
When the man left, my head resetted and I agreed that being self-made is too stressful for me. Lol.
Hard work isn’t a bad thing, but it is if you believe that is what gets you favour in life. I can work and ask God to put His grace upon me, instead of believing that I’ve ever accomplished anything on my own.


These are my lessons for the week. What are yours?

Love always,



I want to say thank you for the love, encouragement and advise. You guys are the best efamily ever!
I hope and pray that the things shared here bless you. Ask any blogger the work it takes to run a blog and you’d know that we who blog mostly Christian content have a bigger goal than just being seen and heard. We want you to see the one we call Abba- God.

If you’ve not given your life to Christ, I want you to know that you’re not late. He’s here right now, calling you into a fellowship with Him. He doesn’t ask for anything that will kill you, but says ‘come as you are, no matter what you have or haven’t done. Just come.’

Ask Him to come into your life and transform you from the inside out. In Jesus name, Amen.


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  • When i released “chastity for men” i sent it to a mentor kind of and he said he had questions.
    Why i a woman was writing to men..etc. etc.

    He didn’t reach me again.

    When i wrote “10 steps to walking in purpose” i sent him too and his response “this is written by you..not others?”

    I felt bad.
    So chastity for men was less? No wonder his response was somehow.

    I have had to learn where to get my approval from. not even mentor or parents can give us that pat in the back that God can give us.
    I have gotten mails on chastity from men from people who were broken down in conviction as they read…
    God needed someone to put it together and He used me and i am so glad He did.

    Those girls arent hating..they just dont understand.
    Focus on the one who sent you the work you got on with letters to our fathers and as the testimonies come in..God is glorified and you humbled to be used to put auch a work together.
    Thays all that matters.

    Lessons lessons lessons abound in this walk with Christ and book journey with Him.
    Learn them and love those He uses to teach them even. They are doing you good 🙂


    • Wow…that response would have hurt me too o. I’m glad you went ahead dear…see what God has done after that time.

      Indeed, the lessons we learn in walking with Christ and writing books for Him are tremendous! I’d not trade them for anything. I like that you said they are doing me good, that’s another way to look at it! Whoooooop.

      My best part: ‘I have had to learn where to get my approval from. not even mentor or parents can give us that pat in the back that God can give us.’

      I hope to always remember this.

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