How to find your soulmate.

How to find your soulmate.

Hey hey hey

I was reading a blog post where a godly couple had shared how they met and their story was truly beautiful.

At the end of their interview, they were asked about Zodaic signs and if they believed in it; they didn’t. It’s not that they said it doesn’t exist, but they just believed in the higher law and power of the Holy Spirit.

Anyway, that got me thinking…can zodiac signs bring me to ‘the one’ if I studied them and followed all the beliefs?


I didn’t even think about it twice. Lol. Zodaic signs ko, signs Zodaic ni.

The desperation is real guys! It’s sad to see how many marriages breakup- marriages that were ‘goals’ to many.

One advise I’d like to share is that you make your relationship your own goals! Think about it, will you date you? Take a step back, reflect and think…will you date you if you were someone else?
Forget what people think about you on social media, will you marry you? Like, with all the things going on with you privately?
Will it be nice to attach another person to you?

Let us answer these questions objectively.

It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t recognize or admire couples that are TRULY GODLY, but let’s not make them goals or use them as a yardstick. Some become so obsessed, they even think they will meet their spouse if they do exactly the same things someone did. It’s sad.

I know you’re wondering, what’s the correlation of all I’ve written with the title of this post. I’d share what God told me sometime back when I asked Him questions about my future partner.

He said- Follow Me.

Do you want to meet or find your future spouse?
Follow God.

Why? Your intellect is not great enough to find you a mate! Can you make someone fall into deep sleep and make another human from them? Can you take from someone’s ribs and add to another?
If you can’t, then you can’t find you a mate- a mate that will walk with you through life and serve God with you till the very end. Not till the end of divorce.

Here’s the best way to find your soulmate- follow God.

Somehow, in that path, in that space where you’re fervently seeking the Lord and obeying Him- He will send you your mate.

I get it.
I get that it can be ‘lonely’. It can be ‘somehow’ with all them BellaNaija daily posts and engagement pictures, but who said you have to follow these handles?
If you fall into jealousy or envy when you scroll through some pictures, why not unfollow?

It’s not by force o.

The interesting thing is that all the couples I admire found themselves while in the will of God. They were somehow following God when they met their partner who was ALSO following God.

God told me to rest. He said, REST!
Stop all them calculations.

It is sad and alarming, the number of young believers in relationships they CLEARLY know are out of God’s will for their lives. You don’t need a prophet to tell you whether or not a guy/lady suits you when you have the Holy Spirit in you to direct you. But how many yield to His leading?

Don’t let ‘loneliness’ or solitude for a while push you to make a decision of a lifetime without God.

No need to run ahead of God. Remember that to follow someone, you need to walk behind them.

Follow God, because that’s the only authentic way to find your ‘soulmate’.


Encouraging scriptures to ponder on:

I would like you to be free from worry. An unmarried man concerns himself with the Lord’s work, because he is trying to please the Lord. But a married man concerns himself with worldly matters, because he wants to please his wife; and so he is pulled in two directions. An unmarried woman or a virgin concerns herself with the Lord’s work, because she wants to be dedicated both in body and spirit; but a married woman concerns herself with worldly matters, because she wants to please her husband. I am saying this because I want to help you. I am not trying to put restrictions on you. Instead, I want you to do what is right and proper, and to give yourselves completely to the Lord’s service without any reservation.
1 Corinthians 7:32‭-‬35 GNB

(You might actually wish for the time you have now when you finally marry. Why not wholeheartedly serve the Lord with your undivided attention?)

Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you with all these other things. So do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.
Matthew 6:33‭-‬34 GNB

(I just love how the Good News Bible puts this.)


I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.
Jeremiah 29:11 GNB

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.
Isaiah 54:5 ESV


Light and love,






  • Joy

    Hey babe, thanks for this post, I am facing a situation where am tempted to go ahead of God, but your post came at the right time to remind me.. Thanks honey God bless you

  • Kayode Aseweje

    Hey, Bolaji. Great post. Couldn’t have come at a better time. Not to argue or disagree or anything o, but i recently realised that there isn’t really ONE destined person for one (what if the person was stillborn or died in an accident before you met?), but rather a pool of people who can fit into God’s will for you. So, in the light of this, where do you think God’s direction comes in? where it’s not like there’s one set person. If you are interested in someone; also a Christian, similar values, you feel it can work, is there supposed to be like a “Yes, go ahead son” from the holy spirit before you move ahead ? What do you think?

    • Hey Kayode!

      I really don’t think there’s THE ONE too o. But whoever is aligned with the will of God automatically becomes THE ONE after marriage. Lol. (Because, no divorce in Jesus name!)

      You probably thought I was implying that there is a SPECIFIC person for EVERYONE, I don’t really know about that. As you mentioned, as long as someone is in God’s will for you, and you have peace…then they can become THE ONE.

      Yes, to your question, there has to be a confirmation from the Holy Spirit because He must guide us whether or not THE ONE idea exists. If He guides us in all other things, why leave Him out of our relationships?

      Also, I think this is why it is SO IMPORTANT to first know who you are. The problem is that many people don’t even know who they really are. They don’t know why they’re here and what God is saying about the future, they now want to add someone else to that confusion. Is it fair? Lol.

      I say this because, once you know yourself and the purpose for which God has made you, there are some people you’d not even go near. For example, I have an idea of what the future is and my purpose. I might not know how it will happen, but God gives glimpses as I walk with Him.
      A guy wanted to date me sometime back and when we started talking and he shared his plans for the future, I already knew we didn’t jam. He wanted to go to space and all that serious scientific stuff. LOL. And I kinda know I’m not going to be a helpmeet to an astronaut. So, why waste time?

      When you read the story of Adam and Eve, the Bible says Adam looked at all the animals (before God made Eve) and there was none fit for him. But when he saw Eve, he called her flesh of his flesh- she was fit for him and could help with his God-given purpose too.

      I hope you get what I’m saying. There might not be THE ONE, but once you know yourself, you will know by the help of the Holy Spirit, the person who can be fit for you- a helpmeet.

      Plus, God leads us with peace. Once you don’t have peace about someone, (whether they tattoo Christian on their head), don’t date them.

      As usual, I’ve talked more than expected. I do hope you’ve gotten something from this.

      “For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
      Isaiah 55:12 ESV

      God bless you dear.

  • Thanks for this. These scriptures worked wonders. Good to be reminded of them.
    You wrote about deep sleep and rest, it reminds me of some of Gbile Akanni’s messages on godly courtship. One of the starting points for a Christian is to go to sleep. Let God take control instead of fixing a spouse for yourself on behalf of God.
    Greater grace Mobolaji.

  • Ijeoma

    To follow someone you need to walk behind them (or even with them) never ahead of them or without them. Lord help me to follow you truly. Blessings B more grace to you.

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