As silly as this might sound, Emotional Intelligence is simply being emotionally intelligent! Let’s not over complicate things.
There are people that are great at their work but lack the wisdom on how to act/react/talk.
A lot of people have loose mouths and this attitude stinks at work! Loose in this sense might not even mean they gossip, but one who doesn’t know the appropriate time to say something.
This isn’t to say you can’t have funny or light conversations at work. You can. Just know when to draw the line and when you’re discussing off point and someone doesn’t oblige, don’t take offence.
Here’s a definition from EconomicTimes –
Definition: Emotional intelligence refers to the capability of a person to manage and control his or her emotions and possess the ability to control the emotions of others as well. In other words, they can influence the emotions of other people also.
Description: Emotional intelligence is a very important skill in leadership. It is said to have five main elements such as – self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
Why is it so important to be emotionally intelligent?
Especially as you grow as a professional – it is important because your emotions affect what you say and what you do.
Here’s what you need to remember:
Self-Awareness – Self Management
Social Awareness – Relationship Management
It is very important to be self-aware. It is, perhaps, the bedrock of emotional intelligence.
You may have heard this before – “To thy own self be true”, this is important but you can’t be truthful to yourself if you’re not even self-aware.
What’s your personality? What easily upsets you? How do you construct your emails when you’re tired or cranky? How do you answer questions when on a tight schedule?
These might seem like silly things to ask yourself, but knowing who you are helps you know the kind of professional you are as well! Being self-aware essentially helps you relate better with others.
Disclaimer: You’re not perfect and you’re going to still mess up sometimes (No matter your level of EI), but it’s also important to apologize when you’re wrong.
Emotional Intelligence is a skill that covers various aspects of work and life. Knowing yourself, your habits, your likes and dislikes will help you become a better human.
In essence, self-awareness leads to effective self-management.
Many people can’t manage themselves. Have you ever worked with anyone and just thought – is this person a child?
Only children act or talk anyhow because they lack self-awareness.
Self-awareness leads to effective self-control (a very important part of Emotional Intelligence)
While social awareness leads to effective relationship management.
As you become more self-aware, you must also become more socially aware.
What’s happening around you?
What’s happening with the people around you?
Is there something going on in their lives?
Are they facing a challenge outside work that can affect their creativity and productivity?
Unfortunately, many Nigerians are not socially aware!
From people asking you about babies when you’ve been married a while, to asking when you’ll lose weight after having a baby.
So many inappropriate people who act and speak inappropriately.
Two examples –
4 people. One just gave birth and another in the group kept stating how the new mum had gained so much weight. The other two tried to drown that lack of Emotional Intelligence with positive affirmations but this person kept going on about the new Mum’s weight.
At a burial, one of the sympathizers kept acting bubbly and loud, until someone pointed it out that it was inappropriate to act like that. There was a place for jokes and it wasn’t at a funeral.
When you’re socially aware, you’ll know that there are things that are just not right at certain times.
Know when to say or do something.
It might be right at one time and totally unacceptable at another time.
It’s a skill that transcends the workplace – it is needed for every area of life.
Here are a few qualities that enhance emotional intelligence:
– Empathy (“Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another’s position.”)
– Analytical Mind
– Understanding needs and wants
– Optimism (there are people that all the feedback you’ll ever get from them is negative. Don’t be that person.)
– Desire to help others
Take these lessons a step at a time and I’m sure it’ll help you become a better human.
All the best.