Hey hey hey!
It rained in the middle of the night and I was glad (when they said unto me let us go into the house of the Lord) when the rain stopped. I dreaded having to use freezing water but was encouraged that I at least will not have to go to work under heavy rain.
Little did I know that the driver will drive slowly and that rain will beat me mercilessly before I reached the office. But I’m not here to lament about my morning but to praise God for the morning I had before I left home.
So, I’d been feeling less loved by God because I’ve sincerely not been praying as much as I know I should. I have not been reading the Word as much too. And you know this thing, it starts with a day. You miss a day, then you miss the next, then you read a day, miss the next…till you feel disjointed spiritually.
The quote that one week without God makes one weak is true, but for me, one day out of fellowship makes me a wreck! How I have survived life almost 1/2 months after I stopped having quiet time regularly can only be by God’s mercy. Everyday I missed my time with God, it automatically told on my attitude, speech and life. That word about take heed lest you fall has always been real in my life.
I’ll only be deceiving myself if I said that what I knew about God yesterday was enough for me today. Everyday I try to sustain myself with yesterday’s manner, it never works; and it hasn’t worked for the last 1 month.
And do you know one special thing I’ve learned in this time?
My spiritual walk and maturity is largely personal! The few people I’ve shared this with were able to pray with and for me, but they could not bring me out of it. Only God could, so I had to face Him.
Don’t get me wrong, fellowship is great! I recently found a smaller church I now call my home church and I’m so grateful for the people and the word, but none of them could have helped.
Side note: This is totally different from what I thought I’ll share on the blog today. Somehow, God is leading me to expose myself. Ok.
Back to real note: There’s only so much people can do for you spiritually, but at the root, it’s you and God. No one else was there when He saved you anyway.
I don’t think I’ve experienced such spiritual dryness in my life before. Sometimes, I’ll read my books (Letters to Our Fathers and How I Me God on Twitter) and wonder if I was the same person that wrote them! I was in such spiritual high at those points that I never thought it was possible to be this dry.
I would have lustful dreams and so many lustful thoughts during the day that I’ll sometimes doubt if I was Bolaji. LOL! Me? Me that will have silly dreams before, wake up and laugh at the devil’s loss and sleep back like a baby. How did I get here?
By missing my quiet time regularly
By ignoring the word regularly
It starts small but never ends small.
I can’t say I’m there there yet, but I’m on my way! I’m so glad I serve a God who never leaves the one behind.
If I were Him, I’ll…
But I am not Him, and that’s the beauty of it. I have now learned that the more I know this God, the less I know about Him… because there’s always much more.
So, here’s the verse I wanted to share at the beginning of this post (where I praised God for the morning I had before leaving home)
So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.
James 4: 7-10
I was going to read this in NIV, but my hands mistakenly pressed MSG and I know why.
Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.
If you forget anything else in this post, don’t forget that. Do. Not.
Love and light,
P.S: I can feel that this post is kind of all over the place, that’s great! It’s the sign that I’m finally back to writing for Papa.