This post ought to have been posted yesterday, but unforeseen things came up.
I apologize and promise you’d be mega blessed with words from Frances today.
Mobolaji: Hey Hey hey Frances! My sister, my sister. Lol. Let me get serious. Welcome to the Writers Connect segment of omobolaji.com. By now, many of us already know you. But, please introduce yourself.
Frances: I’m Frances Oghenerukevwe Okoro (full name alert, lol).
Lawyer, writer, and Christian blogger. One of those unusual ones God called just to again show that His wisdom/ways is not man’s ways.
Mobolaji: Nice! I am excited about this interview and we have just started. I already have loads of things I’d like to ask, let’s just go right into it. How and why did you start imperfectlyperfectlives.com?
Frances: I started Imperfectlyperfectlives because I essentially had words that won’t stay inside of me. They were literally jumping out of me. I got introduced to blogs (can’t remember how) in 2013 and I remember thinking and getting pulled that I can do this… no, I should be doing this!
Of course I didn’t know the direction God wanted it to take then.
Almost 3 years down and I realize that pull was from God and the beginning of something amazing.
I’m still watching Him unfold things today.
Mobolaji: Interesting! So, it’s not as if you were born with a pen in hand?
Frances: Uhm, I actually started writing in Junior Secondary School, used to write scenes for drama and then debate stuff for friends… then I lost it till it came back when I was in 400 level, almost 7 years later when I became serious about God.
Mobolaji: Hmm. God brings out lost potential. Has there ever been a time that you regretted starting a blog? And what have you learned so far?
Frances: Ah, I regretted it when I just self hosted my blog oh.
Felt discouraged at the lack of support and was almost always comparing myself with other christian bloggers with seemingly large following.
God cured me of that and is still curing me of that.
Now I know it’s a ministry and I have to stay faithful right where I am and be thankful for my portion!
Mobolaji: Beautiful, I can relate small. (Laughs). By now, you know I love your articles. Please, do you mind sharing with the house the dangers of purposeless relationships.
This one will take a whole day’s seminar (maybe we should actually organize a seminar on this yes Bolaji?).
Some believers don’t know that one of satan’s ways to derail you is to set a wrong man/woman on your path… if you fall for that trick, your destiny is as good as derailed at that moment in time.
Trust me, I know!
I was in a purposeless relationship that didn’t have God as a foundation for a year plus.. I was lost as lost could be. Thank God for God.
We need to take our decisions as regards boyfriends and girlfriends more seriously. As I always advice, go to God and dedicate your love life to Him. Enter no relationship He hasn’t said yes to and guard your heart.
You’ve read this now oh, don’t claim ignorance later.
This is soooo important.
For more, we’ll see about that seminar things soon. *wink*
Mobolaji: Wow. So deep. The seminar will not be bad at all! We shall see. 😊
It seems everyone wants a ‘bae’ these days. Do you think it pays at all to even wait on God. Or Does God have anything to do with relationships? What if we need to only bother God with big big things?
Frances: Haha! At big big things. What could be bigger than the man/woman you want to be joined as one with?
We need to understand that God created this marital institution, and failure to let the manufacturer regulate it will lead to certain dysfunction and malfunction.
God cares about every aspect of our lives, including our love life.
He is our husband as seen in Isaiah 54:5
“For your Maker is your husband– the LORD Almighty is his name– the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.“
And He is a jealous husband at that… one who would not want you releasing your heart or committing adultery on Him with someone He hasn’t said you should be with.
We have to understand these things.
Waiting is hard but we know our Father, He never, never let’s our hope down. Always delivers, always! And He won’t start with falling His hand with our small issues.
Trust and wait.
God honours those who honour Him… even in relationship deals.
Mobolaji: Wait. How did you learn all these things!? It seems your head is loaded! Lol.
See, I said we are the unusual ones God called to dispel the thoughts and wisdom of the world.
I’m sitting in an amazing lady’s house who I met from my blog as I type this right now and I remember thinking a while ago on how I am soooo not a tush girl. But then God brings me in contact with those who schooled abroad, big women, etc, etc. And I am like, but how did this happen?
Well, even I am amazed when words flow from my hand/mouth. All God B, all God. I am sure you already know this truth.
Mobolaji: I sure do. They say God puts water in a basket to disgrace the bucket. When we think about God and those He uses, we find that He specifies in those unqualified in the world’s standard, but perfect for Him to use!
One question I love to ask is this- How did you actually meet Christ?
Frances: Met Christ (again) one night when my marijuana induced boyfriend was sitting behind me railing and angry that I called a girl who texted him that she was pregnant for him… (when i say stay away from those silly relationships without God, I know why ohh, see what a 19 year old girl was doing when others were reading their books…)
I cried out to God that this life didn’t seem like what He wanted for me and He should confirm what I should do. And He answered me, on that cement floor in front of the offices close to the library in DELSU Oleh Campus.
That was my REAL turning point.
Mobolaji: Hallelujah. And has it been worth it at all?
Frances: Oh definitely!
Just this morning I was telling God that He is my life, my centre, the one who holds me up. Without God I am empty, totally empty and good for nothing.
He has given me life. Life. Life. I won’t let Him go for nothing.
I am sure Daddy sees my heart in this, even though we go through rough patches sometimes…like Uhm, maybe even right now. lol.
But no going back.
I’m consecrated through and through… dedicated to the one who saved me and loved me.
Mobolaji: I get over whelmed when I meditate on God’s PERSONAL love for us all.
You always share on your blog that you aborted before you got to know Christ. I look at you and wonder, why? It takes such strength to share that unashamedly. Why do you keep sharing that side of your life?
Frances: Because He asked me to do so.
And as a proof of my love to Him.
He said if you love me, you’ll obey my commandments… it hurt, but I love(d) Him too much to disobey.
He said “it’s time to share…”
My past experiences weren’t given for me alone but for the world… He had a plan for it. I couldn’t sit on that plan and stop it from unfolding and helping the lives He wants to help.
It was hard.
Still hard sometimes… but I love Him, so I obey…
Mobolaji: And you know me o. I’m already teary-eyed. Your mess as your message.
Ahh, you’re such an inspiration. Is that why you’re so passionate about reaching out to teenage girls and young ladies?
Frances: I simply want to give young ladies/teenagers what I never had… someone telling me God has a plan and purpose for my life and I may not know it now, but I don’t have to mess around because I am royalty. God has a blueprint for my life and its way better than what I can chose for myself.
I believe that if young girls/we in general know this, we wouldn’t do some of the things we do.
I simply just want to spread this message and help even if it’s one girl, to not step on the same land mines I did.
Mobolaji: I agree! I guess we’re more drawn to fight for people who may go through the same things we have experienced. Like turning one’s mess into a message for others. Ahah, before I forget, your books! You have 2 published books and 1 on the way. Whoop whoop. Tell us about that.
Frances: All three books were books that started like play, like play.
“Chastity For Men” started from a series on the blog… and it’s basically based on my deep pain at men in general who think that they can’t stay pure/chaste.
Coming from me – someone who was ropped in sexual addictions and pornography for 8 years plus, I knew we could stay chaste in Christ, man or woman.
And the book is basically about steps on how to live in purity…
“10 Steps To Walking In Purpose” started from me replying an email to someone… and this book carries the heart of the message God has given to me… and a desire to raise men and women of purpose for God. We all have been created to fill a God-given niche on earth and sometimes this isn’t our jobs or marriage or kids.
This book is just for everyone confused about God’s purpose for their lives, how to find it and then how to walk in it.
And “Making A Difference With Your NYSC Year” started from an idea that dropped when I was in the bathroom. Lol.
God does the oddest things.
I didn’t go looking for these dreams, didn’t think it was something I would do, but of course Daddy has His plans for us, always.
And this is just a book for NYSC youths in Nigeria… a clarion call for them not to waste their one year of service the way many of their counterparts have done in the year gone by.
The NYSC year is a crucial part of a youth’s life. God does amazing things with it if we’ll let Him do so… we can hit the goals and even gain more clarity on our ministry (ministry is basically your area of service, don’t be wowed by the name), assignment and call.
I could write all about the books here but it would be too long.
All I will say is the first two books have PDF files that can be downloaded for free and Uhm, just go here www.imperectlyperfectlives.com/my-books to get your copy and know what they are all about (would totally bless you by the way 🙂
Mobolaji: How has the feedback been?
Frances: So far so good… I am thankful.
But I’m basically still at the “sowing seed” stages if you know what I mean.
There’s still more ahead and I know that… so a little here and a little there is still the stage where I am right now.
Mobolaji: Sowing. Sowing. Sowing.
God bless you. Is there any other thing you’d like to address here? If you could see the faces of the people reading this right now, what will you tell them?
Frances: Stay strong dears.
For everyone who’s treading a path in Christ… who desires to live for Him and not the world… stay strong.
Tests will come.
The wind will blow… but for people like us (me and you), there’s no going back.
We must remember that.
Mobolaji: Thank you so much babe! It’s been such a pleasure knowing you. You’re also not a joker when it comes to destiny friends and purposeful friendships. Can you share your thoughts on that too?
My first thought will be to share on Orpah leaving Naomi and Ruth in the Bible.
They loved each other but she wasn’t part of the path/plan God had ordained for Naomi and Ruth.
We also have to be mega sensitive about our friendships/relationships with people.
When you indeed want to walk in God, you’ll realize that what you need won’t be those friends who you grew up with and have known from time immemorial… sometimes, God will take them away and replace them with who you need to get you to where He wants to take you.
Don’t cry when this happens… or for the ladies, cry a little, then get on your knees and pray that God will bring divine and destiny friendships your way.
I have seen this happen with “The Women At the Well” group that I thought started out of the blues but testimonies have been shared that it has been an answer to prayers that were prayed long before now.
Mobolaji: So true! I don’t think I can add anything more to this. Thank you for making out time to be here. Final words?
Frances: I love you B.
Mobolaji: God bless you. Love you!
Frances: Amin and amin!
Prayers are the best gifts ever.
Thanks for having me here B!
🎤🎶 My heart sings oh oh oh…🎶🎤
Right now, I have no words to add. I can tell you can smell Frances’ wisdom from there too. Lol.
Her blog imperfectlyperfectlives.com has been such a blessing!
Go there for more.
Have an amazing long weekend ahead.