Give Me Your Hurt and Adulthood

Hey hey hey!

What happens when you’re hurt? Don’t scroll down yet, take time to think about it.

What do you do with your hurt (pain)?

To be honest, I may write about it (my hurt), tell my sisters to know what they think I should do; I’ll rarely tell my mum because she’ll take it personal for me…I may give it to God too…

Something happened few weeks ago, (that day was just one that I wanted to quickly sleep because the whole day was like beans).

I had attended a program while feeling ill and was hurt by few things that happened there. Got home and after contemplating it, wrote a note I wanted to send to the person, asked my sis if it didn’t sound insulting and then I sent it.

As I did chores early the next morning, I heard ‘You didn’t give me your hurt’. I knew it wasn’t my sis talking and wondered, will God really want me to tell Him about that ‘small’ thing?

But during this long Sallah break, I read through my journals from 2015 and I noticed how I was with God in my journals. I was such a baby! I shared any and everything with Him.

What happened to that girl from just two years ago?

Why did I grow up in such a way that I lost my open, undiluted, unashamed relationship with Papa?

Then, I gave God my hurt, my unhurt (lol), my hopes, dreams, plans. It was directed to Him FIRST. I’ve somehow grown, finished school and slowly began to let the hustle and bustle of this life sip into my walk with God.

As I desired to grow spiritually, I also began to grow into an ‘adult’ before God. I shared less and less open stuff and my journal that used to be my secret place became more like a prim and proper documentation. It wasn’t disjointed like I liked it, it wasn’t all over the place…it was now that of a ‘big girl’.

I don’t know if you’re also realizing that you’ve grown, but not in a good way.

What happened to the joy of your salvation?
What happened to that openness before God?

Has the world tried to steal that?
Don’t let it!

Give your hurt back to God, you can’t handle it on your own. But more than just that, give your everything to Him like you did at first.

I’m so glad I have my old journals forever! Instead of just retracing my steps to what’s really important, they show me the past and how God delights in a humble and child like heart.

No wonder:

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18:3 NIV

There’s a kind of humility only a child like heart can have before God.

The Lagos life will not steal my childlikeness, it will not take away my humility, and it cannot hold my openness to God.

I may be older, but I’ll always be God’s baby girl.
And if I have to always give Him my hurt instead of directing it to others, I’ll do that every single day because He alone knows how to soothe the pain.

Go back to being a baby; let your love burst for Papa!

It’s been so long I shared a picture here!

 

Love and light,

Mobolaji.

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Give Me Your Hurt and Adulthood

  1. Hi Bolaji.
    I can totally relate to this post.
    I also recently read through my prayer journal at 15 and couldnt believe the disparity between the gal i was and the ‘woman’i am now. It amazed me and broke my heart to see the lil gal that was oh so in love with her Papa and would write to Him every single day telling any and everything…i kept asking myself what went wrong.
    Now i know its ‘adulthood’ that took over.

    Thank you for this sweet reminder that no matter how grown up we get, wel always be His babies and should act accordingly😊

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